Saving Grace- Part One

In my last blog, I talked briefly about my ordinary and totally unimpressive background, lol. Today I want to talk about the grace that saved me, the grace that changed my life and the grace that delivered me.

Getting into a private university allowed me to live the sheltered life I had grown accustomed to, I had no real challenges apart from the struggle of passing exams. Nothing really tested my faith there and nothing really spurred me to be better than I was. I got into this relationship that would lead to me experiencing things I had never experienced before. Needless to say, it was a relationship that accelerated the unraveling of my life.

As a young Christian, there was the struggle of doing what was right while battling your own desires. I would get back to my room every night feeling unclean and polluted. It became a routine for me, go out, get into the little sins, get back to my room and ask God for mercy. Although I did not get into anything major in this relationship, the “little sins” were enough to haunt me.

That’s when it started, the silent prayer, the deep longing to be free of the shackles of the little sins. Yes I felt terrible about the things I had done, yes I prayed and asked for God’s forgiveness every night but I never knew that deep within, there was a desperate cry for redemption. I wanted to be saved but I didn’t know how to let go of it all.

You know what the amazing thing is?, God heard me. Not the routine confessions, but the desperate prayer that I didn’t even know I was making. He saved me, not in the way I was expecting, He didn’t make the sins go away, he didn’t take the boy away, he took me away from the school completely.

I was to transfer from my private university to a federal university, this scared me so much because I knew I was about to step out of the comfort I was used to. At this point, I hadn’t even figured out that God had begun the process of saving me, heck I didn’t even know I had made secret prayers. I thought God was being unfair to me, I prayed and prayed and cried all kinds of tears but that didn’t deter him. I eventually left the school.

When God wants to save an individual, he does it completely and totally. His will and purpose will always prevail in a man’s life and nothing can stop it. It may not be pleasant at first but trust me, in the long run, you’ll be so grateful that he didn’t let you have your way. Look forward to the part two of this story about his saving grace.

The Anger That Destroys

I was supposed to talk about the part two of the saving grace but I decided to talk about something urgent that I’m going through and that’s anger and resentment. For some days now, I have been going through some things that have pushed me to express some negative emotions. I mean, I have thought about bashing someone’s head in and that’s not even the worst of it.

You see, it is so easy to hate, it’s so easy to feel angry and stay angry but pulling yourself out of it is the hard part. Do I feel wronged? most definitely, do I feel like I deserve an apology? heck yeah but the truth is that all that doesn’t matter to God. It doesn’t matter to Him who is wrong or right, all He expects from us is to forgive and live in peace. It’s definitely hard to accept this, especially when you’re boiling over in anger or rage but we just have to accept it.

We are always going to be surrounded by people that piss us off, be it family, friends, foes or coworkers. We will always be provoked but we can always choose to respond differently. I get it, it’s not easy, I know this, I’ve lived it and still am but it’s so much more worse to live in bitterness, anger and resentment than to forgive. Bitterness eats away your soul, your happiness and your joy, it takes everything away from you and ultimately, it destroys you. It gives the devil a foothold in your life and you become so much more prone to his attacks and advances. You can’t pry when you are angry. It takes away the covering of God over your life because God said he will not forgive us if we do not forgive those who have wronged us and he will not hear and answer our prayers if we regard iniquity in our hearts.

So please, do not let pride stop you from taking the first step to make peace, even if you feel you were wronged. I feel like I’m talking more to myself in this post than to any one else. Take the step, do not let self stop you from living the life that God wants you to live. You have to practice that Christianity that you have been preaching. You won’t get it right immediately, nobody expects you to but you can’t change or make progress until you decide to take the first step towards change.

The Backstory

I have always wanted an avenue to express myself and thankfully, I have found one. You know, being a Christian is wonderful but the truth is that it is not easy, especially in this current generation. We are constantly faced with situations that test our faith and try to push us against the wall.

I started this blog to share my experiences, to have an outlet and to make so many people out there understand that they are not the only ones passing through difficult situations, trials and temptations. We can share our stories and together we can be better. So, feel free to share your stories in the comment section and we can tackle issues together.

I was born into a Christian home, went to church regularly and as always, everyone assumed that I was automatically a Christian. But they were wrong, they were so wrong. Yes, I was part of all the formalities, but I never truly understood what it meant to be a Christian and the sacrifices it required.

I had my first real and genuine salvation experience in 2014, I started to read my Bible and pray but that didn’t stop the sins. I was still neck deep in my sins and ignorance. I was stuck in the cycle of sinning and confessing the same sins over and over again. But you know the funny thing, I wanted God to save me, I was making a silent prayer to God that I didn’t even know about. And He did, He really did but like all humans react to God, I resisted, thinking he was being unfair to me. It took him taking me out of my university and thrusting me into an unfamiliar territory for me to realise that he had brought me out to save me.