In my last blog, I talked briefly about my ordinary and totally unimpressive background, lol. Today I want to talk about the grace that saved me, the grace that changed my life and the grace that delivered me.
Getting into a private university allowed me to live the sheltered life I had grown accustomed to, I had no real challenges apart from the struggle of passing exams. Nothing really tested my faith there and nothing really spurred me to be better than I was. I got into this relationship that would lead to me experiencing things I had never experienced before. Needless to say, it was a relationship that accelerated the unraveling of my life.
As a young Christian, there was the struggle of doing what was right while battling your own desires. I would get back to my room every night feeling unclean and polluted. It became a routine for me, go out, get into the little sins, get back to my room and ask God for mercy. Although I did not get into anything major in this relationship, the “little sins” were enough to haunt me.
That’s when it started, the silent prayer, the deep longing to be free of the shackles of the little sins. Yes I felt terrible about the things I had done, yes I prayed and asked for God’s forgiveness every night but I never knew that deep within, there was a desperate cry for redemption. I wanted to be saved but I didn’t know how to let go of it all.
You know what the amazing thing is?, God heard me. Not the routine confessions, but the desperate prayer that I didn’t even know I was making. He saved me, not in the way I was expecting, He didn’t make the sins go away, he didn’t take the boy away, he took me away from the school completely.
I was to transfer from my private university to a federal university, this scared me so much because I knew I was about to step out of the comfort I was used to. At this point, I hadn’t even figured out that God had begun the process of saving me, heck I didn’t even know I had made secret prayers. I thought God was being unfair to me, I prayed and prayed and cried all kinds of tears but that didn’t deter him. I eventually left the school.
When God wants to save an individual, he does it completely and totally. His will and purpose will always prevail in a man’s life and nothing can stop it. It may not be pleasant at first but trust me, in the long run, you’ll be so grateful that he didn’t let you have your way. Look forward to the part two of this story about his saving grace.